Saturday, December 02, 2006

Todays Reflections

Normally, I think about the choices I've made in my life daily. Sometimes it makes me nutty (obsessed), which isn't healthy. Reflect, reflect, reflect. It's like New Years every day (364 days). Actually, on the real New Years, I make sure I take a "day off" from reflecting.

It's nothing out of the ordinary, stuff most people think about on occassion. I'll go over the kids' school situations, their health, their mental wellness. I think about what high school would be ideal. Am I crazy? I'll think about moving, a different job, different friends to focus on. I'll think about my personal life - my spouse, my family, and my relationships with them and I think about their challenges.

But I do it each day. Do other people do this? Daily? I always seem to be in evaluation mode. Note to Self: Try to "extinguish" this behavior (a shot out to the ABA people), and live more in the moment. Each day, try to stop and smell the whatever.

As far as the kids and obsessing over them, I am attempting to not think about their futures until next year. I began after the stressful event of Conferences. I needed a break! So far so good until tonight...

So my friend and I were supposed to be going to the movies tonight. Part of my personal Wellness Program (i.e. have some fun and eat better) She cancelled, but I rallied and called another friend to see if she was free. Friend #2 was dying to get out, and we both had talked about the latest Christopher Guest movie. We really wanted to see it even though the critics didn't like it (which will mean I really will...)

Anyway, friend number 2's daughter got hurt and cancelled, so I was destined to spend the evening doing something "practical", since I "goofed off" all day (did errands and laundry all day while entertaining my 5yr old, but spent 1 1/2 hours napping and reading People.

So I found myself listening to Beck at full volume while driving to my 3rd location, looking for distilled water. Eckerd, nope. Get mad because they sell bottled water for babies with flouride, next to the empty spot for distilled water. (Our food supplies have too much flouride in them which can be toxic). Anyway....Stop & Shop, nope. Get even madder that the same bottled water brand is located in the distilled water space on the shelf. CVS, bingo!

So tonight, I spend a wild Saturday mixing my newly purchased distilled water with my not-so-newly purchased homeopathic remedies. One can dilute the solutions to make it last longer or add people to the protocol. Again...I began my habit of reflecting away at life. I didn't make it till the new year, but hey, it was good. I was able to access my "former self" before kids, before my husband, way back when I was just concentrating on me - figuring out who I was. It was nice. Alone, dark out, chewing on my beloved Hot Tomales candy (think Red dye number 5), and just thinking with no distractions. And it was nice!


mcewen said...

Looks as if your pals had a harder time than you [translation = lucky you] but you knew that anyway. I think you should seek 'treatment' for the Hot Tomales though - maybe some oral defensiveness going on there? Funny how they let you have 'thinking time' - are we weird or what? -should that have been in a personal email instead? [come over and smack me]

Ashley loves Leo said...

No smacking necessary. You gave me a good laugh on that one. And yes, I need some serious OT for my need for chewy candy! And I know, we must schedule time to "think". What a concept!