Saturday, October 18, 2008

Mommy Guilt

I was at my town's allergy support group yesterday. I don't go to these support groups very often anymore, but I knew my friend Carol that's on the wellness committee would be there, figuring we could connect. At one point people were talking about how their child had "grown out" of a certain allergy. I didn't say a word about that and just listened (still hard to hear), but instead tried to focus on my own response to what parents shared.

When it was my turn to share, I said fortunately we only need to consider one food gluten. The mom asks me how many allergies my kid had before, so I quickly summarized by saying he had started out with 9 food allergies and 11 environmental, and didn't say ANYTHING else. Not that I have all the answers, but success with alternative treatments is something people have to WANT to hear.

A few moms stared, and said, "how did you do it"? Surprised by the interest, I said, well, I healed my son through food and supporting the immune system rather than medicine. They pressed on and asked for more details, so I gave the top line answer of organic, whole foods, fish oil, blah blah and today with homeopathy and detox. I was very brief.

They asked about testing, and I said we used it mostly as a loose guideline of where to go, but that we used IgG levels. They were very impressed, and one mom said they had used bioset. I said we love bioset and were successful with that too. They said it was inspirational to hear a positive story.

On the other hand, the group leader totally got agitated and went on a rampage about her "renowned doctor, head of what have you" says IgG is useless. I didn't have any reaction whatsoever. I just politely listened to her internal guilt and struggle she had with her choices. I think I've really mellowed.

This mom also happens to be an autism mom. I've had one big parking lot discussion with her a couple years ago, and she basically passed on advocating for an autism program for him because of the "cost" to the older sibs and family lifestyle. I offered my help to go to her IEP meeting, etc. She declined and said, "We all have to make hard choices" , which I accepted. But that was then, and today I wasn't even sure she remembered me since I don't go routinely.

It was nice walking out of there without taking on the energy of this mom that clings to her choices because she'd rather be right than accept that others have had success trying things she hasn't. I walked out friendless, but I was at peace.


Tawnya States said...

What happened to your Depressed post? I liked seemed real. Also I have tried endlessly to contact you. Do you have a working email account?

Ashley loves Leo said...

Hi Tawnya. My email is Weird that I have missed your emails!

I deleted the depressed post because I thought it may have been too personal or whiny, even though I was honest. I'm glad one other person could maybe relate, so thanks for telling me!

Look forward to hearing from you, Ashley

bindu said...

does that mean your chikd was/is ok
with dairy/casein ?
Did he ever test +ve for lactalbumin or casein on the IgG?
I have an interesting theroy about boiling milk and its effect on the allergenic potential of the heat labile proteins in milk ( not casein, rest of them).

Ashley loves Leo said...

Hi Bindu. Yes, my son is ok on dairy/casein now. His gut has healed and in a good place to handle challenging foods like that. We continue to eat a pure diet at home, but do eat "normal" food when we eat out or for social reasons. Everything in moderation!

And yes, he did initially test positive for casein IgG as well as several other foods.