Monday, September 22, 2008
The S%X Talk With My 7 Year Old
NOTE: I'm not spelling S%X out, because I don't want to be googled by gross child predators.
So I had the s%x talk with my daughter. It went surprisingly well, and she seemed to be ready for far more information than I expected. Note to self: Try to pay more attention to #2, she needs to learn how to tell time and how to tie her shoes (only because she's self conscious about it). Where has all the time gone?
So let me set the stage. We are in the car ALONE (good), driving to pick up Leo at baseball practice. We are listening to the soundtrack Juno, which is one of our faves. No, she hasn't seen the movie....It's perfect since we are driving, an activity, and we aren't face-to-face. Here's what happened:
Sydney: "Mom, what's the movie Juno about anyway?"
Mom: "It's a about a young high school girl Juno that gets pregnant. Do you remember what 'pregnant' means?"
Sydney: "Yes, it means you have a baby in you."
Silence on the set, a few minutes pass.
Sydney: "So what happens to Juno? How did she get pregnant? HOW?"
Mom: "Well, she had sex with her boyfriend. That's how she got pregnant. Do you know what S%X means?"
Sydney: To my relief, she says "No."
Mom: "Well, remember how flowers have stamens and pollen?" I can't seem to remember my flower reproduction info.
Mom: "Remember how all animals including people have eggs if you are a girl? Well boys have something called sp$rm."
Mom: "Well, married people, and sometimes people that are dating have S%X. Insert drum roll here as I am sweating profusely now....The p$nis goes into the v$gina. That is S$X. That's how the egg and the sperm get together to make a baby."
Sydney: She has an unexplainable look on her face, not fear, but wonder and amazement and a little shock. A light bulb. She says, "Oh."
More silence, then we talk about other things for a few minutes.
Sydney: "So why did she do that? Didn't she know she could get pregnant?" Bonus points for Sydney! Insightful question!
Mom: "Well, you know how moms and dads hug and kiss? And sometimes boyfriends and girlfriends do that too? Well, in addition to s%x making babies, some people want to do it because they think it's fun. They like to do it. They must have gotten carried away and weren't thinking. They must have forgotten."
Sydney: "Is that what happened in the movie?"
Mom: "I don't know, the movie starts where she is already pregnant, and because she is too little to be a mommy, she goes to her parents and tells them. The whole movie is about Juno and her parents finding a mommy and daddy for her baby so she can go back to being a kid again. You remember how your Auntie is going to adopt because she can't have a baby in her tummy? Juno looks for someone like that, people that REALLY REALLY want to be a mommy and daddy so bad.
Sydney: "What happened. Did Juno find parents for her baby? "
Mom: "She did, and she went back to high school and was a regular kid again."
Sydney: More time passes and I think it's over. Then, I hear "So Mom, is that what you and daddy did to have me and Leo?" She has a somewhat embarrassed look on her face and a little bit of a smirky smile.
Mom: "Yes Sydney, that's what ALL parents do.
I immediately told my DH and said you gotta get on it with Leo. The kids may talk about it. You have the same equipment, so you have to do the "p$nis goes into the v$gina" stat! So the next day he did.
Leo says "Gross."
Yeah, we got it over with! Well, I'm sure there will be more layers to follow another day.